Its been a long time

Wow … its been a long time …

Yeah, I’ve been busy  … but honestly? I’ve been hiding.

So what have I been hiding from? Myself mostly.

This is the place I pour out my inner-most thoughts … this is the place my soul is on display for all to see.

Scary.

Scary stuff.

So what have I been doing?

The last 6 months have been full of turmoil.

I went to Phuket on holidays with friends, and came face-to-face, up-close-and-personal with a friend’s addiction and her inability to face it. And I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do … I have walked away … I can no longer ‘enable’ her addictions and behaviour.

My uncle’s wife went to court for his murder (Suzy, your predictions are incredibly accurate). She’s copped a guilty plea … my god … what she did … Was he an asshole? Probably. Did he deserve what she did? No one deserves that.

My world at work was turned upside down when I was given 3 months to pull together an international conference – just what I need – crazy pressure because I’m not stressed enough obviously.

An ex-lover lost his job – again – and turns up on my door step – again. I close the door on our friendship … I can no longer enable his behaviour.

So how have I coped?

The last 6 months have been an exercise in setting boundaries. My solar plexus chakra has definitely been getting a work out. My self-worth, self-esteem and self-empowerment have all been copping a bashing.

But somehow, I’ve managed to come out of all of this … a little dishevelled, a little battered … but I’ve survived.

I’ve learnt that sometimes we all need to crawl into a cave … to take time to heal.

So I’m back, I think.

I’ve missed you.

A note from the universe

GRATITUDE [grat.i.tude]: Big time buzzword during spiritual awakening phase of planetary evolution, yet often misunderstood.

When you think thoughts of “thanks,” Mich, it’s exactly the same as thinking thoughts of having received. And, as is true of all thoughts on the plane of manifestation, they must immediately strive to manifest into your time-space life.

Yet, the only way there can be a manifestation of such thoughts is if you do actually physically receive. And the only way you can actually physically receive is if all of the players and circumstances of your life are literally shifted around and manipulated, without you or them even knowing what’s going on, so that you will be predisposed to the right ideas, hunches, connections, and introductions that will deliver you smack into the middle of such manifestations.

And it’s all perfectly legal,
    The Universe

When the sun shines

What a gorgeous weekend! The sun was shining and everyone was out riding and walking around the lake.

I walked around the whole lake today – around 8km – Trinity was in heaven.

The cherry blossoms are in full bloom, and due to some rain, everything looked green and lush.

The local government is building an off leash area, which will allow the local dogs to play and socialise too, which is great because they took away the off-leash priveleges a few years ago (promising they were building a dog park) … and until now nothing had been done.

One of my favourite parts of the lake is the Gathering Place … its surrounded by totems and in the centre is a fire pit … there’s such a great energy there.

This evening, we went out again, although we only did a half circuit.

I also managed to catch up with some old work colleagues — who I adore — for lunch out at Pialigo today. After our culinary feast, we wandered around the garden centres getting ideas for our gardens. I bought a couple of plants which will hopefully brighten up the front entrance of my garden after having a huge, obstructive bush removed — I’ll take photos next weekend after I’ve had a chance to plant them.

At the end of the day, I was suprised to find out that I had walked 17 kms (don’t you love pedometers?). So tonight, I’m just going to treat my tired feet with a pedicure.

How was your weekend?

Trinity hanging at the gathering place

Friendship

Thank you Lori from Words from the Heart & Soul for the wonderful friendship award! Your friendship is such a blessing and means the world to me!

Thank you to these people for their creativity, inspiration, sassiness, grit, and honesty!

1. Bohemian Mom http://bohemiansinglemom.blogspot.com/
2. Michelle O’Neill at http://www.michelleoneilwrites.blogspot.com/
3. iGoddess http://lillithdee.blogspot.com/
4. Sacred Suzie http://suziesacredspace.blogspot.com/ 
5. miss*R http://talesofinglewood.blogspot.com/

If you would like to participate:

1. Post these awards somewhere on your blog.
2. Link to the person who gave you the award.
3. Nominate at least 5 other blogs.
4. Put links to those on your blog.
5. Leave a message on those blogs.

Dreams

I had a dream last night that has stayed with me so clearly throughout the day – however I’m not to sure to make of it.

In it were some of the bullies that I have encountered throughout my life. This was not an entirely pleasant dream.

So the dream was set in a work enviornment, why the bullies I encountered at school were there I have no idea – I hadn’t given them any thought what-so-ever in literally 20 odd years.

In the dream, I was successful. The bullies were there to try and trip me up … and wanted me to ‘fall into line” … one even threatened my physically, but I remember looking at her with pity.

My new boss was there, and she backed me up, a tower of strength.

I didn’t feel the need to concede to their demands and threats (not that I have in the past), and I didn’t feel threatened, just pity for them.

Now at school I was bullied because I was different – I was a dancer (ballet) and very good at it … all my time was consumed with ballet so I really didn’t have a lot of time to just muck around with the other kids at school, and I didn’t want to.

I guess that set the scene for me later in life, not to worry about being ‘one of the gang’, that it was ok to march to the beat of my own drum.

The last 10 years I’ve been surrounded by bullies in the workplace, sometimes I was the target, and other times I was witness to others being bullied – the people I worked with really weren’t very nice.

All thats changed now … I work in an environment where excellence is rewarded … and my colleagues are supportive.

Now I looked up the dream interpretation of bullying:

Dream of being bullied by someone is a proof that you are oppressed by others in daily life. It is a sign of desire to be liberated. Try to change environment.

On the other hand, having a dream of bullying someone tells you that you are under stress. You need to take vacation or have some exercise to refresh and relax.

I guess the latter refers to my situation now … I am under stress, but not because I am being bullied … work is kinda crazy at the moment … I’m also feeling a little burnt out having taught Chakradance all year without a break.

So in 6 weeks I’m flying out to Phuket to lie on a beach, drink cocktails, have massages and explore the local culture.

Woooo!

A reading for miss*R

Triple Goddess Tarot | No. 10 Womb of Potential

How shall I begin my song in the blue night that is setting? In the great night my heart will go out; toward me the darkness comes, rattling; in the great night my heart will go out.

 –Papago Medicine Woman Chant

Soul Message: The wheel of life moves me toward expanded horizons. The sky appears wider, the mountains stand taller, and the space around me is vibrant with possibility. In the midst of life’s wild and quickly flowering currents, I remain centered, allowing the rainbow bridge of opportunity to connect me with my destiny.

Alchemy and Transformation: At this stage of initiation, the spiritual seeker confronts more and more subtle growth opportunities and challengers, in order that a more permeable and transparent ego identity can be forged beyond the confines of attachment and fear. This stage of life heralds a deep and abiding inner freedom

Awakening to the Archetype – The Rainbow Goddess: The Rainbow Goddess carries the potential to manifest in all spheres and in all circumstances. You are invited into the Womb of Potential where, like the Rainbow Goddess, you gestate your dreams. Hidden treasures within you are waiting to blossom.

Everyday Encounters: You are asked to open your heart and soul to the many opportunities that surround you each day. The wheel of fate is shifting and new values, concepts, and ideas are forming within. You may wish to take a class, rearrange your daily schedule, or branch out and do things you have been thinking about but have not taken the time for. It is not to your advantage to remain stuck in the same routines, fearing the significant changes looming on your horizon. Meet this wonderful opportunity with an open mind.

Nature’s Healers: Madia

A commitment to myself

The view from my back door.

Well the long weekend is coming to a close.

Its been a pretty chilled out weekend …. reading, and hanging out with friends.

The weather hasn’t been all that great.

In fact, I’ve just looked up and it looks like its gently snowing outside … yup, its definitely the finest of fine snow … no wonder its cold!

Its been windy and rainy all weekend - but the rain I appreciate because the drought is so  bad, any little bit in the dams helps.

The wind has been quite strong though - it looks as though the ducks are body surfing across the lake.

Trinity just wants to go outside and bark at the wind to tell it to go away.

With such inclement weather, I’ve had the opportunity to do a lot of refection, and I feel it is a beneficial time to set new goals and dreams – to look beyond the cliff’s edge.

It is time to speak with authority and not be afraid of my power. To walk in humility and in service with a proud and giving nature. And to rise above petty concerns of those around me.

I feel its time to look after me instead of everyone else. My physical, mental and emotional health is of paramount importance at the moment.

So I make this commitment to myself before all of you. From here on in:

1. Only healthy food will enter my body.
2. I will exercise every day.
3. I will lose 12 kg by Christmas.
4. I will meditate every day.
5. I will have a massage, at a minimum, of once a month.

What do you do to look after yourself?

Its so close, I can feel it …

Woo hoo … the Universe is telling me I’m on the right track!!

 

Act the part, Mich, act the part.

You will have a new job that I love. It’s a done deal. Actually, I’ve already sent out the party invitations.

Act the part,
    The Universe

And in the process, Mich, you’ll touch, teach, and heal millions and millions of people… (And not just because I’ve invited them to the party.)

To mentor, or be tormented … that is the question!

Now I’m usually a pretty easy-going sort of gal.

At work, I’m laid-back but professional, and I’ve a strong work ethic. I’m supportive of my colleagues and fiercely loyal to them.

Currently I’m mentoring a colleague who’s transitioning from the private into the public sector. I remember when I did a few years ago, I found it a steep learning curve just getting used to the different culture, so I’m happy to try and smooth the way a little.

But of late, I’m feeling a little, well …. ARGH!

I find my patience is wearing thin, as my workload increases to pick up the slack.

Now I adore this colleague of mine, but well, I’m not seeing any improvement and I’m not sure what to do – do I persevere in hope that they will finally ‘get-it’, or do I cut them loose?

I’m perplexed … and incredibly frustrated!

I am free

“The bird flying free in the sky is my totem.
I open my arms to embrace the end that has captured my soul.
The splendor of flight and vision of new horizons call to me.
I am free.”

Isha Lerner

 

Sometimes I have to pinch myself, I really do live here and all this beauty is literally on my door step.

I snapped a few shots as I went on my walk yesterday evening and this morning.

The magnificence of this area never ceases to amaze me … the goddess lives here … I see her every day.

From some angles, the hills on the other side of the lake look like a naked woman reclining in all her glory … it know its her …

Trinity loves living here too, although this morning she was very naughty when she decided to play with some cyclists … I don’t think they were too amused with her antics.

Life is abundant: the bees have come back a-buzzing … ducklings are paddling and playing in the shallows of the lake … the magpies doing the dance of love … and the birds are diving and gliding. The trees are budding with leaves and new growth … the flowers are blooming … and you can smell the freshness in the breeze.

Sometimes of an evening, I walk down to the sandy shores of the lake and wade in ankle deep.

I raise my arms, reaching toward the heavens in the shape of a chalice and imagine I am being filled with the elixir of divine love.

The radiant light of the goddess pours into my heart.

I am blessed.